I honestly can’t tolerate humanity anymore its like people aren’t even people anymore. It’s just one clone after the next. I know who’s real and I know who’s a cheap copy. But I didn’t notice this until around this time last year. And at the time, I didn’t think much of it. I just passed it off thinking it was a lack of individuality. But slowly throughout the year I started noticing some trends that were almost frightening and my mind split in two. Half of me thought I was going insane, and the other half wanted to further investigate exactly what was going on. Today I find myself living in a psycho-social cradle I built for myself in my mind, not knowing if I should interact, silently observe, or completely ignore the things I’ve been noticing. I’m also afraid that I’ve fallen into a Twilight Zone… like I’ve stepped into an alternate dimension and became trapped. I still don’t know why exactly this old school sci-fi series of events is happening and what will happen to me along with the few “real” people in my life but the numbers are dropping at faster and faster rates and I fear that I may soon lose my mind or fall victim to this anomaly that has interrupted my life. Please tell me why and how this is happening and if I’m insane or if I have discovered the secret of the universe.
I am convinced that the place I work is some kind of portal to another dimension or possibly a “hiccup” in time itself. As soon as I started my employment, I noticed one key attribute that my coworkers share. I used to know all of them somewhere else in this lifetime, but as different people. Two of them look like they could be twins of people I used to know. Not just by face though… Personality, appearance, clothing style, and even their voice and choice of words when speaking, these people even share the same laugh, the same body language, and the same emphasis of words in sentences. And here’s the catch… All but one of the original people have been removed from my life, and I am now faced with clones of people I used to know. The only difference is age. I have befriended one of them, and actually, she is my only coworker that I enjoy hanging out with. She has proven to be “real” forcing me to believe that the original was the fake. I only say “real” and “fake” because I find it impossible to believe that human DNA hasn’t been able to distinguish more than ten separate personalities in this enormous population.
In this building I have met my mother twice, both were patients, after she was removed from my life when she moved to Canada and chose to cease contact with me. I have met three people I remember from high school but haven’t seen or heard from since graduation… I met all of my exes and my current boyfriend through patients, coworkers, and ambulance drivers. I even predicted the loss of my best friend. A new guy was hired who resembled him, had the same personality, same music taste, same height, and same sense of style… as soon as I noticed the two were exactly the same, I received news that my best friend was moving immediately to another state.
One thing I am not afraid of though, is losing my boyfriend. He was the first “real” person I ever met. He moved away during high school and I never heard from him again until this past December. But while he was gone I met dozens of his “clones”. I encountered people who reminded me of him, I met people who looked like they could be his twin; I met him over and over until I learned to live with his indirect presence. Then when we randomly ran into each other, the “clones” all disappeared, with the exception of the one ambulance driver at work that I rarely see. He only shows up once every few months but he’s so distant that it seems like he’s the one out of my life… if that makes any sense.
The final anomaly I would like to bring up is my boss. She has a strange presence to her. Its not only the normal “fear me, for I control you five days a week during your shift” kind of boss stuff, it’s more. She seems to know what I am thinking as I’m thinking it. I don’t mean that she could read my mind, I mean she knows what I’m going to think before I could think it. She reacts at the very instant a negative thought about her enters my mind. And when I show her I do not fear her, she develops this strange swaying as she stands as if she was drunk or drugged… as if my lack of fear was draining her physically. Also, I’ve noticed something related with a coworker I regularly speak to. Whenever she approaches me to complain about our boss, or ask my opinion of something unfair or down right mean that my boss does, she begins to do the same drunk-like swaying motion that my boss does, but only if I say bad things about my boss. I have three possible theories about what could be causing this other than the obvious (actual coincidental involvement of drugs or alcohol)… maybe my boss is psychically attacking my coworker because she knows we both enjoy insulting her behind her back. Or maybe my boss is actually possessing her to get information from me… My last theory, brace yourself for this as it is the wildest thing you can imagine: my boss is a shape-shifter and is using her ability to transform herself to spy on me? No… it can’t be that. Has the stress of this job affected me in a way that I am becoming paranoid of all that surrounds me while I’m in the building? That sounds like the most realistic answer… But maybe there isn’t anything wrong with me and I’m just a victim to a series of anomalies that will only end by cutting the grip the building I work in has on me. I work in a place where most people go to wait for death. A place where there is so much death that the very walls reek of anxiety, confusion, and sorrow… A place where anyone can become trapped in the void if they aren’t careful. Maybe I’m not crazy…